Bullies And What We Can Do

I think I might have mentioned my feelings about this issue before but I don't think I have written an actual blog about it. It sickens me every time I hear about bulling. I know there is nothing anybody can do to actually stop it from happening. As long as there are people, there will be bullies. What we can do is make it happen less, teach our kids to tell until someone listens when they are being bullied and teach our kids to not be bullied.

When kids/teens bully other either in person or on-line, it's a form of assault and harassment. In the adult world, these actions are a crime. So why aren't they in the world of kids and teens? I think this is one of the key things to reducing these violent acts. We want to give kids a light punishment thinking that will work, when has it? Suspending a kid, expelling them, detention does not work. So they get out of school, they don't care enough about school to have that be a punishment. 

When kids bully, they need to be punished by the law. The punishment will depend on the severe of the act. It can start from a fine and community service to spending some time in juvenile hall. This shouldn't happen just when a parent decides to press charges. If there is proof of it happening, charges need to be pressed no matter what. This needs to start happening even if done through social media.

Stop blaming the victim. Way too many times the victim gets blamed mostly by school officials and sometimes they bully a kid more by saying it's their fault, maybe they should stop...fill in the blank. Then there are times when the victim also gets suspended etc. What good does that do?

If a victim stands up for themselves and fights back, no they shouldn't get punished. It has to be proven who started it etc but the victim should never be punished for defending themselves. This reason and the reasons above are why victims tend not to tell people and tend not to fight back. What does this teach them? 

When kids feel helpless, they turn to drugs, drinking, self harm, killing themselves or committing a violent act against a school. They feel at a loss and that no one will help or protect them so they turn to other means. I think this is why we have seen a rise in this stuff, kids are not being listened to. Yes things like this didn't happen much in the 70's, 80's and before then but things back then were hush hush, it was "the norm". 

Another thing that needs to happen is to hold the schools responsible when they don't do anything. Too many schools give stupid reasons for not doing anything or a "I don't know". It's not enough. Schools need to have something happen every time they don't do something when they know a kids is being bullied. If it's just a teacher that knows and doesn't do anything and/or also becomes a bully, they need to be held responsible too.

Today there are so many ways kids can reach out and we know it's not the norm and yet still nothing gets done. It's very very sad. So when are we going to start taking action? When is our government officials going to start making tougher laws? Once we start showing our kids we are there for them and will protect them, maybe then they will start coming forward more and feel the need to commit certain acts because the feel alone, lost and unheard. When a kid reports being bullied, things need to be documented for proof. 

If I knew how to REALLY voice all of this and try to get something done about it, I would (it doesn't help that I have anxiety/social anxiety). All I know is, we need to do better for our kids and we need to take real action.