I am sure I wrote something similar to this but this time I'm not going to talk about my feelings on people who are gay, but I am going to talk about my feelings on the comments/arguments I see on blogs that talk about people who are gay.
I don't know why I read comments on articles that has to do with the topic of people who are gay. It used to really piss me off but now I actually find them amusing. Sometimes yes, I get pissed about the ignorance but I have come to terms that there will always be racism of every kind. This doesn't mean that I nor anyone else shouldn't stand up for what's right but when it comes to comments on a website, sometimes it's better to ignore them. Some are there for attention, some are there to just state their opinion and others look for conflict so they can say how much they are correct and everyone else is wrong. It's kinda like people watching for me but on the web and I see the conversations instead of making up my own stories.
The comments always start out with arguing if being gay is a sin and/or wrong, or if it's not. Then very quickly it turns into an argument about religion; interpretations of the bible, if there really is a God and so on.
People sometimes start "yelling", cussing each other out and calling each other names. It's like they actually loose site in what their God really stands for (or just respect if one doesn't believe in a God). They start saying things that don't make any sense, they talk about the things they were most likely taught as a kid instead of taking a deep look into things and coming up with their own thoughts. A lot people also think they are correct and everyone else is wrong and stupid. It gets pretty crazy and stupid if you ask me.
Even though I now become mostly amused by everything, I also shake my head. I am always wondering why can't we argue about more important things? Do we really have to resort in name calling and think others are stupid just because they have different beliefs? Why do we feel the need to try and prove we are right? Why do we think that what we believe is right and others are wrong? Why can't we just respect each other? Open minds people, open minds.
I don't want to get deep into God and the bible but it does make me go "wow" at how many different interpretations there are about religion, how everyone thinks they are correct, forget that there are many different beliefs out there which none is right or wrong. It's the actions and how we treat other that really make something right or wrong. Some people get so hostile about it too. Again I ask why?
Other things I see a lot in comments are the crazy things that people believe to be true about gay people (I'm not calling the people crazy, just the words that come out of their mouths or in this case fingers). Where in the hell do some of them get their information and why do they believe it? Did something so horrible happen in their life to think theses things? Why can't they pick apart their accusations and realize what they say makes no sense? Why is it hard for some to admit they are wrong? I really do wonder about some people sometimes.
I know in writing this, I can't change everyone but I do hope some take a real hard look at themselves, how they treat others and why do they REALLY believe in some of the things they do. Maybe even try to think outside the box and come up with their own thoughts instead of what they have been taught by others. We also need to be truly educated on things before saying crazy "truths". Acknowledge others differences, accept it and most important, always show respect.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Having A Gay Parent
There is always talk about same sex couples raising kids. What you don't hear enough about is the kids that have gay parents. I am here to talk about my story.
If you have read my other blog Coming Out In My Family , you will know that my father is gay. Because in the 60's and 70's being gay was something one just didn't talk about, it made it harder for my dad to be who he was. Like a lot of LGTB people then, he tried to not be gay. He married my mom and a year later I was born. He struggled with it the whole time. Then in the early 80's, my sister was born. By this time he knew he couldn't change and accepted who he was. My parents split.
When he told me he was gay, I was about 10 or 11 years old. I knew what being gay meant, I just didn't understand it. Hell, I didn't even understand about straight relationships. I just knew that my dad was who he was and he couldn't change that. I knew a lot of people hated people who were gay and there was a lot of violence towards anyone who was. It was all over the news. Yes those things still go on today but not like they did back then.
I felt sad for my dad and scared. Sad because I knew things would be harder for him and I didn't want that. Scared because I didn't want someone to beat him up or worse. I was also afraid of how I might be treated in school since I was already being bullied.
At some point I decided to tell the few friends I had. Luckily they didn't care. Thank God their parents didn't care either. I never got bullied because I had a gay father, it was just other things like I was too skinny, I couldn't play sports etc etc.
My father never threw his relationships "in my face" so to speak. Even if it was something I saw all the time, it wouldn't have made a bit of difference if the person he was dating was male or female, I would have still felt the same. I was only introduced to two people. The first didn't work out. The second guy did and was amazing.
He did everything he could to make my sister and I feel welcome. He was one of the sweetest guys you could ever meet. He treated my dad with respect and my sister and I with respect. He treated us like his own daughters. He made my dad happy. Those are the things that really mattered. There are too many boyfriend/girlfriend's of single parents that treat the kids like crap. I would rather have my dad (or mom for that matter) be in a relationship with someone who was/is respectful than to be in one that is abusive.
When we would be out in public, there would be times I would wonder what would happen if someone found out that my dad and the other guy were a couple. Sometimes I wouldn't want anyone to know. I knew there was nothing wrong with two guys being in a relationship but knowing how other people felt about it made me uncomfortable. I know all of this is one of the reasons why some people say gay couples shouldn't have children. The thing is, one it was a different time (the 80's) and two, it didn't damage me at all. I was just more aware of things and I was already a child with low self esteem. Plus, the negative things that some people throw out can make anyone feel uncomfortable, child or adult.
My father and this guy got married but wasn't legal since back then it wasn't allowed anywhere. I didn't attend because I lived in a different state. Was it hard? Yes but not because my dad was marrying another guy. It was hard because he was marrying another person that wasn't my mom. I was about 18 or 19 but it was still hard. I just never dealt with any of feelings I had about my parents splitting up.
Fast forward to today. I am not broken or damaged by having a gay parent. Yes I was raised by my mom and still had my dad in my life but that's not the point. Even if I was raised by my dad, I would still be just fine. I haven't "turned gay", I don't sit here and think "it's cool to be gay" and any other myth you want to throw out can be, well thrown out. I can tell you that I would rather have a gay parent(s) than not have any at all. My father never abused me, he didn't abandoned me and he isn't sitting in a prison somewhere where I can only see him through bars and/or glass. I was taught the same things as any other child growing up.
I was shown and taught about love. That love comes in all different ways and is not prejudiced, only people are. I just want my dad to be happy. That is what really matters. I am grateful that my dad found that special someone. Unfortunately he lost his life and couldn't marry my dad legally.
To anyone who sits there and says that a kid having two moms or dads is not good for the child needs to get educated more on the subject. How about talking to kids who are in the situation or adults who grew up with same sex parents. We will tell you that it's really ok. Kids don't care if they have 1 parent or 2, 2 moms or 2 dads; they just care about being loved, supported and to be protected. So to deny a child a loving home who doesn't have parents is the real damage. The only people care seem to care who a child lives with is other adults.
I think some adults have forgotten what it's like to be child and how it feels. Children are not stupid. They know more than they are given credit. They are curious about the world and we need to educate them on the different people and lifestyles even if we don't agree to some of them. We need to stop sheltering them from little things and shelter them from the bigger things. Children tend not to judge so why do we as adults?
Some might say that kids don't know what's best for themselves. I call bullshit. Yes we know more but kids do know what they need and want. Just ask them. Ask them if they would rather have 2 parents of the same sex or no parents at all (or in jail etc etc). I guarantee you they will say they would rather have 2 same sex parents.
Some might say that there is a risk of sexual abuse. I think there needs to be more education on this subject as well. People are people no matter what. They will sexual abuse a child no matter straight or gay. Most abusers that go after the same sex are straight. Ask them. Has anyone? Probably not. Do real research before speaking on the subject.
How about, "they will get teased/bullied", well guess what, the bullying is going to happen no matter what the subject is. We can't protect our children from everything. "It's not a normal family". What is a normal family? Where parents fight all the time, are abusive, uncaring, drugs and so forth? Please people, stop with the crazy nonsense. Talk to actual kids and adults that grew up with gay parents. Let a child go to a loving home no matter who the parents are. They WILL be ok. Remember, the sad thing is and the real damage is not letting a child have a loving home and protecting them from things they don't need protect from.
If you have read my other blog Coming Out In My Family , you will know that my father is gay. Because in the 60's and 70's being gay was something one just didn't talk about, it made it harder for my dad to be who he was. Like a lot of LGTB people then, he tried to not be gay. He married my mom and a year later I was born. He struggled with it the whole time. Then in the early 80's, my sister was born. By this time he knew he couldn't change and accepted who he was. My parents split.
When he told me he was gay, I was about 10 or 11 years old. I knew what being gay meant, I just didn't understand it. Hell, I didn't even understand about straight relationships. I just knew that my dad was who he was and he couldn't change that. I knew a lot of people hated people who were gay and there was a lot of violence towards anyone who was. It was all over the news. Yes those things still go on today but not like they did back then.
I felt sad for my dad and scared. Sad because I knew things would be harder for him and I didn't want that. Scared because I didn't want someone to beat him up or worse. I was also afraid of how I might be treated in school since I was already being bullied.
At some point I decided to tell the few friends I had. Luckily they didn't care. Thank God their parents didn't care either. I never got bullied because I had a gay father, it was just other things like I was too skinny, I couldn't play sports etc etc.
My father never threw his relationships "in my face" so to speak. Even if it was something I saw all the time, it wouldn't have made a bit of difference if the person he was dating was male or female, I would have still felt the same. I was only introduced to two people. The first didn't work out. The second guy did and was amazing.
He did everything he could to make my sister and I feel welcome. He was one of the sweetest guys you could ever meet. He treated my dad with respect and my sister and I with respect. He treated us like his own daughters. He made my dad happy. Those are the things that really mattered. There are too many boyfriend/girlfriend's of single parents that treat the kids like crap. I would rather have my dad (or mom for that matter) be in a relationship with someone who was/is respectful than to be in one that is abusive.
When we would be out in public, there would be times I would wonder what would happen if someone found out that my dad and the other guy were a couple. Sometimes I wouldn't want anyone to know. I knew there was nothing wrong with two guys being in a relationship but knowing how other people felt about it made me uncomfortable. I know all of this is one of the reasons why some people say gay couples shouldn't have children. The thing is, one it was a different time (the 80's) and two, it didn't damage me at all. I was just more aware of things and I was already a child with low self esteem. Plus, the negative things that some people throw out can make anyone feel uncomfortable, child or adult.
My father and this guy got married but wasn't legal since back then it wasn't allowed anywhere. I didn't attend because I lived in a different state. Was it hard? Yes but not because my dad was marrying another guy. It was hard because he was marrying another person that wasn't my mom. I was about 18 or 19 but it was still hard. I just never dealt with any of feelings I had about my parents splitting up.
Fast forward to today. I am not broken or damaged by having a gay parent. Yes I was raised by my mom and still had my dad in my life but that's not the point. Even if I was raised by my dad, I would still be just fine. I haven't "turned gay", I don't sit here and think "it's cool to be gay" and any other myth you want to throw out can be, well thrown out. I can tell you that I would rather have a gay parent(s) than not have any at all. My father never abused me, he didn't abandoned me and he isn't sitting in a prison somewhere where I can only see him through bars and/or glass. I was taught the same things as any other child growing up.
I was shown and taught about love. That love comes in all different ways and is not prejudiced, only people are. I just want my dad to be happy. That is what really matters. I am grateful that my dad found that special someone. Unfortunately he lost his life and couldn't marry my dad legally.
To anyone who sits there and says that a kid having two moms or dads is not good for the child needs to get educated more on the subject. How about talking to kids who are in the situation or adults who grew up with same sex parents. We will tell you that it's really ok. Kids don't care if they have 1 parent or 2, 2 moms or 2 dads; they just care about being loved, supported and to be protected. So to deny a child a loving home who doesn't have parents is the real damage. The only people care seem to care who a child lives with is other adults.
I think some adults have forgotten what it's like to be child and how it feels. Children are not stupid. They know more than they are given credit. They are curious about the world and we need to educate them on the different people and lifestyles even if we don't agree to some of them. We need to stop sheltering them from little things and shelter them from the bigger things. Children tend not to judge so why do we as adults?
Some might say that kids don't know what's best for themselves. I call bullshit. Yes we know more but kids do know what they need and want. Just ask them. Ask them if they would rather have 2 parents of the same sex or no parents at all (or in jail etc etc). I guarantee you they will say they would rather have 2 same sex parents.
Some might say that there is a risk of sexual abuse. I think there needs to be more education on this subject as well. People are people no matter what. They will sexual abuse a child no matter straight or gay. Most abusers that go after the same sex are straight. Ask them. Has anyone? Probably not. Do real research before speaking on the subject.
How about, "they will get teased/bullied", well guess what, the bullying is going to happen no matter what the subject is. We can't protect our children from everything. "It's not a normal family". What is a normal family? Where parents fight all the time, are abusive, uncaring, drugs and so forth? Please people, stop with the crazy nonsense. Talk to actual kids and adults that grew up with gay parents. Let a child go to a loving home no matter who the parents are. They WILL be ok. Remember, the sad thing is and the real damage is not letting a child have a loving home and protecting them from things they don't need protect from.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Music Videos
Music videos was a big thing in the 80's and even part of the 90's. With cable tv channels like Mtv, CMC and VH1 and the late night weekend show Night Tracks that was on a regular channel, we were able to see music in a creative way. Mtv was the first channel to do this. It gave a different way for our favorite artist to be creative and to tell their story. It had my generation glued to that freakin' tv hoping to catch our favorites. Even if I didn't like a song, I still enjoyed watching a video - sometimes. It gave us another way to dance in our living rooms (hoping no one would catch us) and to discover new music having us rush out to the nearest record store to pick up the hottest song. It was also a way to give artist more publicity which I'm sure help create more sales. Those videos also would create lots of conversations at schools asking "did you see so and so's video?" Shows like Mtv also helped launch new artist like Madonna.
The videos did so much for us, for our culture and for artist everywhere. Michael Jackson was one of the artist that blew up the video scene when he came out with his videos like 'Billie Jean', 'Beat it', and the very popular 'Thriller'. He set the bar high with 'Thriller' and blew people's minds and was the first mini film video. Even if you don't like Michael Jackson, you have to admit that it is an awesome video especially for that time period. The video industry pushed artist to come up with that awesome video.
Another person who I thought was creative with their videos was Cyndi Lauper. Her videos were always weird, corky and yet fun and entertaining. Madonna did sexy videos with 'Like a virgin' and 'Material Girl', having girls everywhere wanting to dress like her. Rock videos had rockers head banging and trying to do air guitar right along with the videos.
Music videos then came with their own award shows and always gave the press even more to talk about when it came to "pop-stars", both good and bad. Madonna was talked about A LOT with the videos she came out with. There was also some talk about Prince's video 'When doves cry', Michael Jackson doing his crotch grabbing, Cyndi Lauper when she had the big orange hair and 'We are the world' which created good talk.
I miss those days. The videos back then were very creative and entertaining. The songs were better. It was something to relax to and enjoy. The feelings one would get when they saw a video from their favorite artist is indescribable. It was almost like a high. We could forget about our troubles just by vegging out in front of the tv with our music.
Today, it just isn't the same. Mtv isn't a music television anymore. Well maybe during the wee hours of the night/morning but that's it. VH1 is the same. Artist stopped putting a lot of creativity into their videos. It could be about money, because they don't get seen as much or maybe both. It's really sad. Yes we may have youtube but it's not the same. Sure I get very excited when my favorite artist puts out a video and I enjoy it very very much but there will always be something missing (not at all the artist fault) and that's seeing the videos on tv. It just has a different vibe. Most videos don't get a lot of notice, don't get talked about in the media much (unless it's a bad review) and it doesn't do a whole lot for the artist because they don't get noticed much(is my take on it). A lot of money goes into videos but hardly any money gets made from them.
There needs to be an actual music channel to bring back the old videos and new ones. We will always go to youtube for videos but to just turn on the tv and kick back with different videos playing is better. Plus not every video is on youtube. Some even get taken down because of copyrights. If they are on tv, there is none of that happening. There still are some very creative, simple and entertaining videos with stories like 'Roar', "E.T.', 'Born this way', 'Have a nice day', 'Black out the sun' just to name a few. It just seems like there is less and less. I know this is a new era but there still needs to be a good ol' music channel. The 80's were awesome for so many different reasons. I love music videos. They are awesome and could be watched all day long. I want my Mtv. :)
The videos did so much for us, for our culture and for artist everywhere. Michael Jackson was one of the artist that blew up the video scene when he came out with his videos like 'Billie Jean', 'Beat it', and the very popular 'Thriller'. He set the bar high with 'Thriller' and blew people's minds and was the first mini film video. Even if you don't like Michael Jackson, you have to admit that it is an awesome video especially for that time period. The video industry pushed artist to come up with that awesome video.
Another person who I thought was creative with their videos was Cyndi Lauper. Her videos were always weird, corky and yet fun and entertaining. Madonna did sexy videos with 'Like a virgin' and 'Material Girl', having girls everywhere wanting to dress like her. Rock videos had rockers head banging and trying to do air guitar right along with the videos.
Music videos then came with their own award shows and always gave the press even more to talk about when it came to "pop-stars", both good and bad. Madonna was talked about A LOT with the videos she came out with. There was also some talk about Prince's video 'When doves cry', Michael Jackson doing his crotch grabbing, Cyndi Lauper when she had the big orange hair and 'We are the world' which created good talk.
I miss those days. The videos back then were very creative and entertaining. The songs were better. It was something to relax to and enjoy. The feelings one would get when they saw a video from their favorite artist is indescribable. It was almost like a high. We could forget about our troubles just by vegging out in front of the tv with our music.
Today, it just isn't the same. Mtv isn't a music television anymore. Well maybe during the wee hours of the night/morning but that's it. VH1 is the same. Artist stopped putting a lot of creativity into their videos. It could be about money, because they don't get seen as much or maybe both. It's really sad. Yes we may have youtube but it's not the same. Sure I get very excited when my favorite artist puts out a video and I enjoy it very very much but there will always be something missing (not at all the artist fault) and that's seeing the videos on tv. It just has a different vibe. Most videos don't get a lot of notice, don't get talked about in the media much (unless it's a bad review) and it doesn't do a whole lot for the artist because they don't get noticed much(is my take on it). A lot of money goes into videos but hardly any money gets made from them.
There needs to be an actual music channel to bring back the old videos and new ones. We will always go to youtube for videos but to just turn on the tv and kick back with different videos playing is better. Plus not every video is on youtube. Some even get taken down because of copyrights. If they are on tv, there is none of that happening. There still are some very creative, simple and entertaining videos with stories like 'Roar', "E.T.', 'Born this way', 'Have a nice day', 'Black out the sun' just to name a few. It just seems like there is less and less. I know this is a new era but there still needs to be a good ol' music channel. The 80's were awesome for so many different reasons. I love music videos. They are awesome and could be watched all day long. I want my Mtv. :)
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