I want to address some of the things people are saying about the book/movie of 50 shades. I know I shouldn't read negative comments but sometimes I do. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and feelings but I wish some of those people would learn about something before they speak and stop putting down things/others just because they don't get it or don't agree.
A lot of the things are hear are some of the same type of things (lets see if I can remember them):
1) It's not BDSM, it's abuse
2) BDSM is abuse
3) it's degrading to women
4) it glorifies abuse etc
5) it's rape
6) BDSM is not like that
7) he is controlling
8) people who are into this stuff have issues & are sick
9) there must be lack of sex or sex is boring for women to like this
10) why not just watch porn, it's better.
Here are my responses:
1) It is BDSM and not abuse. The BDSM may be vanilla in the movie but it's BDSM.
2) BDSM IS NOT abuse. Some people really enjoy certain things. As long as both people consent, it's not abuse even if marks are left. Some people enjoy that and there is NOTHING wrong with it.
3) no, it's not degrading to women.
4) It doesn't glorify abuse because there isn't any. What I don't get is, if there is actual abuse going on in a movie (especially a paranormal one), nobody bats an eye. The second a movie about bondage comes out, everyone acts like it's evil and horrible.
5) he never rapes her. Everything he does to her, she consents to. If he forced her to do things or if she said no but he did it anyways, then it would be rape. None of that happens.
6) real BDSM may not be exactly like it is in the movie but from what I know, it's vanilla BDSM.
7) yes he can be a little controlling but that is what being a Dom and a sub is, the Dom tells the sub what to do and the sub does it. The thing is, everything is talked about so they know what the limits are etc etc. If the sub flat out doesn't want to do something, she (or even he) can say so and make it not happen.
8) people who are into this stuff are not sick and there is nothing wrong with it at all. Of course there are some that have some kind of issues, after all they are human too. You can't group all of a type of person and say they are all like a certain way because it's not true. It can be hard to understand why someone would want to get beaten etc but unless you are them or have tried something yourself, you will never get it. It doesn't mean something is wrong with people if they are into BDSM just because it's misunderstood.
9) for some women they might have a lack of sex or are bored in the bedroom but that is not the case for all. What is wrong with spicing up a sex life? The same old thing can be boring. If men can watch porn, why can't women watch their "porn"?
10) pron is not better than this movie. Pron is boring because there is no storyline and the acting sucks. It might be great for some (mostly men) but not for all. Why is there always a double standard when it comes to certain things?
BDSM has a bad wrap. It is looked down upon. People think it's sick and twisted, dirty (in a bad way), degrading, abusive and whatever else people throw out there. I really wish some people would have an open mind and stop saying how something is wrong just because they don't like it and don't understand it. I think it's a good thing that this movie is out, it gets people talking about it. People need to understand that it doesn't have to be this dirty little secret and shouldn't be ashamed if they are into certain things. Why do we have to be so afraid of things and refuse to have an open mind?
BDSM is not for everyone and that's fine. It does work for some and they shouldn't have to be ashamed by it or keep it so hush hush. There is a difference between abuse and BDSM. One is done out of anger, to punish (for real), causing real harm and there is no consent. The other is done with consent, no anger, with trust, communicate and to bring pleasure.
There are some things that people do that I will NEVER understand and find bizarre but who am I to judge them because it pleasures them? I think there needs to be more talk about stuff like this just so people can stop being ashamed for it and so others can see that there is nothing wrong with it (there will always be the few that think it is). It goes on more than you think. You know when you give your partner a slap on the ass for fun? That's BDSM even if it's a small playful smack. It's a form of it. Most of us do that without thinking about it. Oh and just because someone likes a plesure beating, doesn't mean they will like a hurtful beating etc. There is a difference. One is controlled and done with a trusting person. The other is done with a lack of trust and not controlled.
BDSM - it's a form of play, not abuse. Don't like it? Don't do it but don't make others feel ashamed for doing things they enjoy.
