What Love Means To a Child

Here is another thing that was emailed to me a long time ago. I find it interesting & wanted to share.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 yr olds. What does love mean? The answers they got were broader & deeper than anyone could have imagined.

1) When my grandma got arthritis, she couldn't bend over & paint her toenails anymore. So my grandpa does it for her now all the time, even his hands got arthritis too. That's love. Rebecca age 8

2)When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouths. Billy age 4

3) Love is when a girl puts on perfume & a boy puts on shaving cologne & they go out & smell each other. Kari age 5

4) Love is when you go out to eat & give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs. Chrissy age 6

5) Love is what makes you smile when you're tired. Terri age 4

6) Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy & she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is ok. Danny age 7

7) Love is when you kiss all the time. then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together & you talk more. My mommy & my daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss. Emily age 8

8) Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents & listen. Bobby age 7

9) If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate. Nikka age 6

10) Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday. Noelle age 7

11) Love is like a little old woman & a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well. Tommy age 6

12) During my piano recital, I was on stage & I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me & saw my daddy waving & smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore. Cindy age 8 


13) My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night. Clare age 6


14) Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken. Elaine age 5


15) Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly & sweaty & still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford. Chris age 7


16) Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day. Mary Ann age 4


17) When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up & down & little stars come out of you. Karen age 7


18) Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet & doesn't think it's gross. Mark age 6


19) You really shouldn't say I LOVE YOU unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget. Jessica age 8


And the winner was a 4 yr old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly man who had just lost his wife. When the child saw the man cry, the little boy went over into the man's yard & climbed on top of the man's lap & just sat there. When the boy's mother asked him what he'd said to th neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

My Mask

This blog is going to be a very personal. I got the idea to write about my mask, a mask that people wear, from a Darren Hayes' song & video 'Stupid Mistake' also from things he has said about it. I don't normally open myself up like this but maybe someone else will see this that is going through the same thing & won't feel so alone, so here it goes.


I've worn my mask all my life. Only showing myself to the few. Why have I put one one? I was picked on & bullied at school and where I lived. Even by a couple of teachers. I was made to feel stupid & slow by my peers & my school. Telling me I had a learning disability when all I needed was a little extra help. Spending everyday at recess alone, sitting up against the wall. Dodge ball was hell. I was left to fend for myself (learning wise)in the 7th grade by placing me back in 6th because the 7th grade class was to full(at the time my elementary went from K-7 and high school 8-12). I never got that 7th grade education. I was always cast aside even by my older cousins because they were teens & didn't want a little kid around. I so get it now & don't hold it against them but the damage was done since I didn't get it then. I was constantly made to feel there was something wrong with me.I never went to my prom & only the creepy guys showed interest in me. I almost had a boyfriend when I was 17 but he left because I barley spoke. I had my mask on, to scared, embarrassed, had to protect myself.


As I slowly remove the mask, I find myself making mistakes. Mistakes that sometimes shows something I'm really not without meaning to. Not knowing how to express myself, feeling relaxed enough to just be me, to just communicate. I try my best, feeling scared, always questioning myself. Wondering if what I'm saying is stupid, boring, to weird, drama, to much about me or just wrong. When trying to not question myself & just do, is when I sometimes make those bad mistakes, not realizing it until after. It being to late, just want to hide with embarrassment.


For some, being behind the mask makes them be someone they are not. For me it's different. It is more of a protection. I am never fake. Just revealing small pieces of me while hiding the rest. Finding it overwhelming to say the simplest things, mind goes blank only to sometimes come up with something way after the conversation is over. Sometimes I babble which can be just as bad. Being in a group of people, I am the one who sits behind the glass wall. Watching everyone else. With one person that I don't know well, I still have my mask on. My "protection" mask. What comes so natural and easy to most, is very difficult for me.


I try not to be so afraid to take it off even just a little. I try to just go with it. If I think to much about it, I will talk myself out of things. When I try not to do that, again that's when the big mistakes happen. When it's off, I feel naked & vulnerable. Seeing my reflection without it isn't good either (that is another "story"). Trying to peel it away until it's gone is one of the most hardest & scariest things ever. No one wants to feel alone, lost, just there, pushed aside or judged. Yet  we feel it behind our mask. Whenever I try to reveal myself even just a little, most of the time it doesn't work. My mask holds me back. Today for this blog, I have taken off my mask.

Gay Marriage & Racism Part 2

Now about the kids & parents. Our kids have such a hard time growing up, trying to figure themselves out, discover life, to be accepted. Why should we make it harder for them? It is our duty to explain & teach them about life even if we don't agree with some of it. It is our duty to love them unconditionally, no if ands or buts. If you throw in any of those, the love is not unconditional. I am a parent myself and have a bi son. I can't even imagine looking him in the eye & telling him that he is no longer my son, there is something wrong with him & whatever else parents say. As parents we don't have to agree with our kid's life style, what they do as a career, how they dress and so on. We should still love them, respect them and be there for them NO MATTER WHAT. They are apart of us after-all. Are some of us afraid to admit that our child is gay & born that way because it might mean there is "something wrong" with us or we did something wrong? 

Being gay is not something you can beat out, change with electroshock therapy, any other therapy, a camp or anything else. Even if you think one can change and not be gay anymore, doing these things to our kids is so inhumane, disgusting and well just freakin' horrible. I understand if some follow a religion, believe what they believe & if their kid thinks different how one might feel betrayed & afraid what others might think. To me it still doesn't make it right to treat kids so horrible. Kids should come before ANYTHING. We are adults, who the hell cares what others think? Family is more important. We were once kids too with the same feelings, remember what that was like?

Things have changed. We are no longer afraid to talk about differences in people. Kids, they have it harder. Not only do they get teased in school, it now goes viral. This makes it so much worse. This means they can never get away from the bullying. What we should be teaching our kids is acceptance of ourselves no matter the outcome. We need to let kids be who they are even if we don't like it. To many kids are killing themselves because of the torture they go through. Would you rather have your kid alive , finding their own way in life & still be apart of them or to loose them to suicide, drugs or running away? What is more important to you? We need to protect our kids better, stop letting others make our decisions for us & step up to what is humanly right.


To those that say gay people, same sex marriage etc hurts our kids, how does it? All kids need to see is two loving people who respect each other, how to be in a loving relationship, how to treat others & the one you are with, how a relationship works. Those are the things that are important. Two people of the same sex can have those things & teach their kids that. After-all they are human like anybody else with the same feelings, goals, frustrations as anybody else. My sister & I grew up with a gay parent & we came out ok. It taught us things instead of hurting us. Today so many straight couples are cheating, treating each other like crap, getting a divorce & so on. What is that teaching our kids?


I could go on and comment about everything little thing. Bottom line, everyone needs to stop trying to control others. If you don't like how someone is, fine but don't be rude about it, try to change them and try to stop them from having rights. Every single one of us are human and deserve the right to live a happy a life. If you are so disgusted about something, maybe you should look deep down and try to figure why it bothers you how someone else lives that doesn't effect you, REALLY look. We evolve as time goes on, laws need to change with it. It's about time everyone has the same rights. I saw a video today that can pretty much sum this up (posted below). Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. Take care everyone.

Gay Marriage & Racism Part 1

Before I get deep into this blog, I first want to point out that I think everyone has the right to believe what they want, to be in any religion and to feel what they want. It's what makes us human, makes us different & we have the freedom to do so.


              (NOTE: I have to do this in 2 parts)

Lately I have been more and more disgusted at what I have been hearing people say about people who are gay and that they want the right to marry.The fact that we have to even have this discussion is stupid. I mean, we sit here & talk about how everyone is created equal and yet we deny certain rights to people that we don't happen to like at the moment. Women had to fight to have rights, blacks had to fight for their rights and now people who are gay have to fight for their rights. To me it's all disgusting behavior (having certain people to fight for rights) that us humans have created for no real reason except to hate on others that are different, that we don't understand and that we may not agree with. 

Are we really that self centered to think what we believe is the correct way and that we are better than others because of it? What makes this world great is that there are all kinds of different people. We all look different, talk different, act different, have different religious beliefs or none at all, live different lives. If we were all the same or very similar, life would be way to boring. No one is better than the other, no religion is the right religion, we are all human no matter what.

Now lets talk about marriage. Without getting religion involved, marriage is a commitment between two people who love each other deeply & wants to share their lives with each other until they die. It's about respect, communication and understanding. They want to have a family (or sometimes not), to be connected & not alone. Every human on the planet wants these things. I took religion out of it because not everyone is religious but still gets married. It still means the exact thing. Way before Christ, people didn't get married, they just had sex to populate the earth. Marriage then came about. Kids as young as, well birth, got thrown into arranged marriages for different reasons. No real love there. Over time, it has changed to what we know now. There are still different marriages & I am not just talking about same sex marriages. The only people that can define marriage as a religious thing is those who are religious.As long as both parties agree & they are of the right age, all marriage is the same, commitment & love.

Who one marries does not effect anyone else one bit, so why are we trying to put restrictions on it? Because some think it's wrong, disgusting, a sin, it's about a man & a woman only, it's unhealthy, they spread diseases, they have sex with everybody yada yada yada. Oh let me guess, if we allow people of the same sex to get married, they will want to then marry animals, computers and anything else. Seriously?? Is this the best you can come up with? 


When did we get the right to tell others how to live & who to love? What makes us so special to dictate others? What makes us better than others to where we have to degrade those who are "less" than us? Are we really that unhappy with ourselves (and afraid to admit it) that we feel the need to be in other people's business? What bout our children? What message are we sending them with all this hate & bigotry? And please don't say it isn't hate, bigotry etc because it is. Look it up.


(continue in part 2.......coming soon)