I am sure I wrote something similar to this but this time I'm not going to talk about my feelings on people who are gay, but I am going to talk about my feelings on the comments/arguments I see on blogs that talk about people who are gay.
I don't know why I read comments on articles that has to do with the topic of people who are gay. It used to really piss me off but now I actually find them amusing. Sometimes yes, I get pissed about the ignorance but I have come to terms that there will always be racism of every kind. This doesn't mean that I nor anyone else shouldn't stand up for what's right but when it comes to comments on a website, sometimes it's better to ignore them. Some are there for attention, some are there to just state their opinion and others look for conflict so they can say how much they are correct and everyone else is wrong. It's kinda like people watching for me but on the web and I see the conversations instead of making up my own stories.
The comments always start out with arguing if being gay is a sin and/or wrong, or if it's not. Then very quickly it turns into an argument about religion; interpretations of the bible, if there really is a God and so on.
People sometimes start "yelling", cussing each other out and calling each other names. It's like they actually loose site in what their God really stands for (or just respect if one doesn't believe in a God). They start saying things that don't make any sense, they talk about the things they were most likely taught as a kid instead of taking a deep look into things and coming up with their own thoughts. A lot people also think they are correct and everyone else is wrong and stupid. It gets pretty crazy and stupid if you ask me.
Even though I now become mostly amused by everything, I also shake my head. I am always wondering why can't we argue about more important things? Do we really have to resort in name calling and think others are stupid just because they have different beliefs? Why do we feel the need to try and prove we are right? Why do we think that what we believe is right and others are wrong? Why can't we just respect each other? Open minds people, open minds.
I don't want to get deep into God and the bible but it does make me go "wow" at how many different interpretations there are about religion, how everyone thinks they are correct, forget that there are many different beliefs out there which none is right or wrong. It's the actions and how we treat other that really make something right or wrong. Some people get so hostile about it too. Again I ask why?
Other things I see a lot in comments are the crazy things that people believe to be true about gay people (I'm not calling the people crazy, just the words that come out of their mouths or in this case fingers). Where in the hell do some of them get their information and why do they believe it? Did something so horrible happen in their life to think theses things? Why can't they pick apart their accusations and realize what they say makes no sense? Why is it hard for some to admit they are wrong? I really do wonder about some people sometimes.
I know in writing this, I can't change everyone but I do hope some take a real hard look at themselves, how they treat others and why do they REALLY believe in some of the things they do. Maybe even try to think outside the box and come up with their own thoughts instead of what they have been taught by others. We also need to be truly educated on things before saying crazy "truths". Acknowledge others differences, accept it and most important, always show respect.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Having A Gay Parent
There is always talk about same sex couples raising kids. What you don't hear enough about is the kids that have gay parents. I am here to talk about my story.
If you have read my other blog Coming Out In My Family , you will know that my father is gay. Because in the 60's and 70's being gay was something one just didn't talk about, it made it harder for my dad to be who he was. Like a lot of LGTB people then, he tried to not be gay. He married my mom and a year later I was born. He struggled with it the whole time. Then in the early 80's, my sister was born. By this time he knew he couldn't change and accepted who he was. My parents split.
When he told me he was gay, I was about 10 or 11 years old. I knew what being gay meant, I just didn't understand it. Hell, I didn't even understand about straight relationships. I just knew that my dad was who he was and he couldn't change that. I knew a lot of people hated people who were gay and there was a lot of violence towards anyone who was. It was all over the news. Yes those things still go on today but not like they did back then.
I felt sad for my dad and scared. Sad because I knew things would be harder for him and I didn't want that. Scared because I didn't want someone to beat him up or worse. I was also afraid of how I might be treated in school since I was already being bullied.
At some point I decided to tell the few friends I had. Luckily they didn't care. Thank God their parents didn't care either. I never got bullied because I had a gay father, it was just other things like I was too skinny, I couldn't play sports etc etc.
My father never threw his relationships "in my face" so to speak. Even if it was something I saw all the time, it wouldn't have made a bit of difference if the person he was dating was male or female, I would have still felt the same. I was only introduced to two people. The first didn't work out. The second guy did and was amazing.
He did everything he could to make my sister and I feel welcome. He was one of the sweetest guys you could ever meet. He treated my dad with respect and my sister and I with respect. He treated us like his own daughters. He made my dad happy. Those are the things that really mattered. There are too many boyfriend/girlfriend's of single parents that treat the kids like crap. I would rather have my dad (or mom for that matter) be in a relationship with someone who was/is respectful than to be in one that is abusive.
When we would be out in public, there would be times I would wonder what would happen if someone found out that my dad and the other guy were a couple. Sometimes I wouldn't want anyone to know. I knew there was nothing wrong with two guys being in a relationship but knowing how other people felt about it made me uncomfortable. I know all of this is one of the reasons why some people say gay couples shouldn't have children. The thing is, one it was a different time (the 80's) and two, it didn't damage me at all. I was just more aware of things and I was already a child with low self esteem. Plus, the negative things that some people throw out can make anyone feel uncomfortable, child or adult.
My father and this guy got married but wasn't legal since back then it wasn't allowed anywhere. I didn't attend because I lived in a different state. Was it hard? Yes but not because my dad was marrying another guy. It was hard because he was marrying another person that wasn't my mom. I was about 18 or 19 but it was still hard. I just never dealt with any of feelings I had about my parents splitting up.
Fast forward to today. I am not broken or damaged by having a gay parent. Yes I was raised by my mom and still had my dad in my life but that's not the point. Even if I was raised by my dad, I would still be just fine. I haven't "turned gay", I don't sit here and think "it's cool to be gay" and any other myth you want to throw out can be, well thrown out. I can tell you that I would rather have a gay parent(s) than not have any at all. My father never abused me, he didn't abandoned me and he isn't sitting in a prison somewhere where I can only see him through bars and/or glass. I was taught the same things as any other child growing up.
I was shown and taught about love. That love comes in all different ways and is not prejudiced, only people are. I just want my dad to be happy. That is what really matters. I am grateful that my dad found that special someone. Unfortunately he lost his life and couldn't marry my dad legally.
To anyone who sits there and says that a kid having two moms or dads is not good for the child needs to get educated more on the subject. How about talking to kids who are in the situation or adults who grew up with same sex parents. We will tell you that it's really ok. Kids don't care if they have 1 parent or 2, 2 moms or 2 dads; they just care about being loved, supported and to be protected. So to deny a child a loving home who doesn't have parents is the real damage. The only people care seem to care who a child lives with is other adults.
I think some adults have forgotten what it's like to be child and how it feels. Children are not stupid. They know more than they are given credit. They are curious about the world and we need to educate them on the different people and lifestyles even if we don't agree to some of them. We need to stop sheltering them from little things and shelter them from the bigger things. Children tend not to judge so why do we as adults?
Some might say that kids don't know what's best for themselves. I call bullshit. Yes we know more but kids do know what they need and want. Just ask them. Ask them if they would rather have 2 parents of the same sex or no parents at all (or in jail etc etc). I guarantee you they will say they would rather have 2 same sex parents.
Some might say that there is a risk of sexual abuse. I think there needs to be more education on this subject as well. People are people no matter what. They will sexual abuse a child no matter straight or gay. Most abusers that go after the same sex are straight. Ask them. Has anyone? Probably not. Do real research before speaking on the subject.
How about, "they will get teased/bullied", well guess what, the bullying is going to happen no matter what the subject is. We can't protect our children from everything. "It's not a normal family". What is a normal family? Where parents fight all the time, are abusive, uncaring, drugs and so forth? Please people, stop with the crazy nonsense. Talk to actual kids and adults that grew up with gay parents. Let a child go to a loving home no matter who the parents are. They WILL be ok. Remember, the sad thing is and the real damage is not letting a child have a loving home and protecting them from things they don't need protect from.
If you have read my other blog Coming Out In My Family , you will know that my father is gay. Because in the 60's and 70's being gay was something one just didn't talk about, it made it harder for my dad to be who he was. Like a lot of LGTB people then, he tried to not be gay. He married my mom and a year later I was born. He struggled with it the whole time. Then in the early 80's, my sister was born. By this time he knew he couldn't change and accepted who he was. My parents split.
When he told me he was gay, I was about 10 or 11 years old. I knew what being gay meant, I just didn't understand it. Hell, I didn't even understand about straight relationships. I just knew that my dad was who he was and he couldn't change that. I knew a lot of people hated people who were gay and there was a lot of violence towards anyone who was. It was all over the news. Yes those things still go on today but not like they did back then.
I felt sad for my dad and scared. Sad because I knew things would be harder for him and I didn't want that. Scared because I didn't want someone to beat him up or worse. I was also afraid of how I might be treated in school since I was already being bullied.
At some point I decided to tell the few friends I had. Luckily they didn't care. Thank God their parents didn't care either. I never got bullied because I had a gay father, it was just other things like I was too skinny, I couldn't play sports etc etc.
My father never threw his relationships "in my face" so to speak. Even if it was something I saw all the time, it wouldn't have made a bit of difference if the person he was dating was male or female, I would have still felt the same. I was only introduced to two people. The first didn't work out. The second guy did and was amazing.
He did everything he could to make my sister and I feel welcome. He was one of the sweetest guys you could ever meet. He treated my dad with respect and my sister and I with respect. He treated us like his own daughters. He made my dad happy. Those are the things that really mattered. There are too many boyfriend/girlfriend's of single parents that treat the kids like crap. I would rather have my dad (or mom for that matter) be in a relationship with someone who was/is respectful than to be in one that is abusive.
When we would be out in public, there would be times I would wonder what would happen if someone found out that my dad and the other guy were a couple. Sometimes I wouldn't want anyone to know. I knew there was nothing wrong with two guys being in a relationship but knowing how other people felt about it made me uncomfortable. I know all of this is one of the reasons why some people say gay couples shouldn't have children. The thing is, one it was a different time (the 80's) and two, it didn't damage me at all. I was just more aware of things and I was already a child with low self esteem. Plus, the negative things that some people throw out can make anyone feel uncomfortable, child or adult.
My father and this guy got married but wasn't legal since back then it wasn't allowed anywhere. I didn't attend because I lived in a different state. Was it hard? Yes but not because my dad was marrying another guy. It was hard because he was marrying another person that wasn't my mom. I was about 18 or 19 but it was still hard. I just never dealt with any of feelings I had about my parents splitting up.
Fast forward to today. I am not broken or damaged by having a gay parent. Yes I was raised by my mom and still had my dad in my life but that's not the point. Even if I was raised by my dad, I would still be just fine. I haven't "turned gay", I don't sit here and think "it's cool to be gay" and any other myth you want to throw out can be, well thrown out. I can tell you that I would rather have a gay parent(s) than not have any at all. My father never abused me, he didn't abandoned me and he isn't sitting in a prison somewhere where I can only see him through bars and/or glass. I was taught the same things as any other child growing up.
I was shown and taught about love. That love comes in all different ways and is not prejudiced, only people are. I just want my dad to be happy. That is what really matters. I am grateful that my dad found that special someone. Unfortunately he lost his life and couldn't marry my dad legally.
To anyone who sits there and says that a kid having two moms or dads is not good for the child needs to get educated more on the subject. How about talking to kids who are in the situation or adults who grew up with same sex parents. We will tell you that it's really ok. Kids don't care if they have 1 parent or 2, 2 moms or 2 dads; they just care about being loved, supported and to be protected. So to deny a child a loving home who doesn't have parents is the real damage. The only people care seem to care who a child lives with is other adults.
I think some adults have forgotten what it's like to be child and how it feels. Children are not stupid. They know more than they are given credit. They are curious about the world and we need to educate them on the different people and lifestyles even if we don't agree to some of them. We need to stop sheltering them from little things and shelter them from the bigger things. Children tend not to judge so why do we as adults?
Some might say that kids don't know what's best for themselves. I call bullshit. Yes we know more but kids do know what they need and want. Just ask them. Ask them if they would rather have 2 parents of the same sex or no parents at all (or in jail etc etc). I guarantee you they will say they would rather have 2 same sex parents.
Some might say that there is a risk of sexual abuse. I think there needs to be more education on this subject as well. People are people no matter what. They will sexual abuse a child no matter straight or gay. Most abusers that go after the same sex are straight. Ask them. Has anyone? Probably not. Do real research before speaking on the subject.
How about, "they will get teased/bullied", well guess what, the bullying is going to happen no matter what the subject is. We can't protect our children from everything. "It's not a normal family". What is a normal family? Where parents fight all the time, are abusive, uncaring, drugs and so forth? Please people, stop with the crazy nonsense. Talk to actual kids and adults that grew up with gay parents. Let a child go to a loving home no matter who the parents are. They WILL be ok. Remember, the sad thing is and the real damage is not letting a child have a loving home and protecting them from things they don't need protect from.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Music Videos
Music videos was a big thing in the 80's and even part of the 90's. With cable tv channels like Mtv, CMC and VH1 and the late night weekend show Night Tracks that was on a regular channel, we were able to see music in a creative way. Mtv was the first channel to do this. It gave a different way for our favorite artist to be creative and to tell their story. It had my generation glued to that freakin' tv hoping to catch our favorites. Even if I didn't like a song, I still enjoyed watching a video - sometimes. It gave us another way to dance in our living rooms (hoping no one would catch us) and to discover new music having us rush out to the nearest record store to pick up the hottest song. It was also a way to give artist more publicity which I'm sure help create more sales. Those videos also would create lots of conversations at schools asking "did you see so and so's video?" Shows like Mtv also helped launch new artist like Madonna.
The videos did so much for us, for our culture and for artist everywhere. Michael Jackson was one of the artist that blew up the video scene when he came out with his videos like 'Billie Jean', 'Beat it', and the very popular 'Thriller'. He set the bar high with 'Thriller' and blew people's minds and was the first mini film video. Even if you don't like Michael Jackson, you have to admit that it is an awesome video especially for that time period. The video industry pushed artist to come up with that awesome video.
Another person who I thought was creative with their videos was Cyndi Lauper. Her videos were always weird, corky and yet fun and entertaining. Madonna did sexy videos with 'Like a virgin' and 'Material Girl', having girls everywhere wanting to dress like her. Rock videos had rockers head banging and trying to do air guitar right along with the videos.
Music videos then came with their own award shows and always gave the press even more to talk about when it came to "pop-stars", both good and bad. Madonna was talked about A LOT with the videos she came out with. There was also some talk about Prince's video 'When doves cry', Michael Jackson doing his crotch grabbing, Cyndi Lauper when she had the big orange hair and 'We are the world' which created good talk.
I miss those days. The videos back then were very creative and entertaining. The songs were better. It was something to relax to and enjoy. The feelings one would get when they saw a video from their favorite artist is indescribable. It was almost like a high. We could forget about our troubles just by vegging out in front of the tv with our music.
Today, it just isn't the same. Mtv isn't a music television anymore. Well maybe during the wee hours of the night/morning but that's it. VH1 is the same. Artist stopped putting a lot of creativity into their videos. It could be about money, because they don't get seen as much or maybe both. It's really sad. Yes we may have youtube but it's not the same. Sure I get very excited when my favorite artist puts out a video and I enjoy it very very much but there will always be something missing (not at all the artist fault) and that's seeing the videos on tv. It just has a different vibe. Most videos don't get a lot of notice, don't get talked about in the media much (unless it's a bad review) and it doesn't do a whole lot for the artist because they don't get noticed much(is my take on it). A lot of money goes into videos but hardly any money gets made from them.
There needs to be an actual music channel to bring back the old videos and new ones. We will always go to youtube for videos but to just turn on the tv and kick back with different videos playing is better. Plus not every video is on youtube. Some even get taken down because of copyrights. If they are on tv, there is none of that happening. There still are some very creative, simple and entertaining videos with stories like 'Roar', "E.T.', 'Born this way', 'Have a nice day', 'Black out the sun' just to name a few. It just seems like there is less and less. I know this is a new era but there still needs to be a good ol' music channel. The 80's were awesome for so many different reasons. I love music videos. They are awesome and could be watched all day long. I want my Mtv. :)
The videos did so much for us, for our culture and for artist everywhere. Michael Jackson was one of the artist that blew up the video scene when he came out with his videos like 'Billie Jean', 'Beat it', and the very popular 'Thriller'. He set the bar high with 'Thriller' and blew people's minds and was the first mini film video. Even if you don't like Michael Jackson, you have to admit that it is an awesome video especially for that time period. The video industry pushed artist to come up with that awesome video.
Another person who I thought was creative with their videos was Cyndi Lauper. Her videos were always weird, corky and yet fun and entertaining. Madonna did sexy videos with 'Like a virgin' and 'Material Girl', having girls everywhere wanting to dress like her. Rock videos had rockers head banging and trying to do air guitar right along with the videos.
Music videos then came with their own award shows and always gave the press even more to talk about when it came to "pop-stars", both good and bad. Madonna was talked about A LOT with the videos she came out with. There was also some talk about Prince's video 'When doves cry', Michael Jackson doing his crotch grabbing, Cyndi Lauper when she had the big orange hair and 'We are the world' which created good talk.
I miss those days. The videos back then were very creative and entertaining. The songs were better. It was something to relax to and enjoy. The feelings one would get when they saw a video from their favorite artist is indescribable. It was almost like a high. We could forget about our troubles just by vegging out in front of the tv with our music.
Today, it just isn't the same. Mtv isn't a music television anymore. Well maybe during the wee hours of the night/morning but that's it. VH1 is the same. Artist stopped putting a lot of creativity into their videos. It could be about money, because they don't get seen as much or maybe both. It's really sad. Yes we may have youtube but it's not the same. Sure I get very excited when my favorite artist puts out a video and I enjoy it very very much but there will always be something missing (not at all the artist fault) and that's seeing the videos on tv. It just has a different vibe. Most videos don't get a lot of notice, don't get talked about in the media much (unless it's a bad review) and it doesn't do a whole lot for the artist because they don't get noticed much(is my take on it). A lot of money goes into videos but hardly any money gets made from them.
There needs to be an actual music channel to bring back the old videos and new ones. We will always go to youtube for videos but to just turn on the tv and kick back with different videos playing is better. Plus not every video is on youtube. Some even get taken down because of copyrights. If they are on tv, there is none of that happening. There still are some very creative, simple and entertaining videos with stories like 'Roar', "E.T.', 'Born this way', 'Have a nice day', 'Black out the sun' just to name a few. It just seems like there is less and less. I know this is a new era but there still needs to be a good ol' music channel. The 80's were awesome for so many different reasons. I love music videos. They are awesome and could be watched all day long. I want my Mtv. :)
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Old Children's Games: Clapping And Hand Games Part 1
Do you remember those hand clapping games and other hand games that we did when we were kids? How about where they came from? I know I have these questions so I did a little searching. I have to say, it's difficult to find an actual answer. I assume there isn't a whole lot of information about them.
Clapping games is something my generation (70's & 80's) and others before my time, that would be done and enjoyed by kids all over the place. Kids would stand facing each other (mostly two at a time but sometimes more and in a circle), sing a song/rhyme and do a coordinated hand clap to it. Mostly girls did this but some boys did it too. If one person messed up, you would have to start over or go to the next person waiting to play. If the song was short, sometimes you would keep going and get faster each time until someone messed up.
There were all kinds of different songs like 'Miss Mary Black' and 'Three Sailors' which happened to be my favorite. I think the another I used to do was 'A sailor went to sea sea sea'. There are so many other songs too. There is also the toddler one, 'Patty Cake'.
I have read that it started in the 19th century and became popular in the 50's, that it dates back to ancient Rome or even from the 16th century. Personally I would think it came centuries ago, from just about anywhere from bored kids. I wouldn't mind trying to find out what certain songs from these games came from but since there are so many, it would be too difficult. Although I did read that 'Patty Cake' was first a finger game attributed by a 17th century English writer and poet Tom D'Urfrey then turned into a clapping one by writer Lydia Maria Child.
Over the generations, these songs have been changed and more songs have been created also making the clapping game a little more complicated. Here are the lyrics to the three I have posted above.
'Miss Mary Mack'
Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack
All dressed in black black black
With silver buttons buttons buttons
All down her back back back
She asked her mother mother mother
For fifty cents cents cents
To see the elephants elephants elephants
Jump over the fence fence fence
They jumped so high high high
They touched the sky sky sky
And didn't come back back back
Til' fourth of July July July
'Patty Cake'
Patty patty cake, baker's man
Bake me a cake as fast as you can
Roll it, pat it, mark it with a B
Put it in the oven for baby and me
'A Sailor Went To Sea Sea Sea'
A sailor went to sea sea sea
To see what he could see see see
And all he could see see see
Was the deep blue sea sea sea
(Note: another variation of this is just like the song listed below but used sea sea sea, chop chop chop, knee knee knee)
'Three Sailors'
Three sailors went to eye eye eye
To see what they could eye eye eye
But all they could eye eye eye
Was the bottom of the deep blue eye eye eye
(every time 'eye' is mentioned, one would point to their eye)
Three sailors went to love love love
To see what they could love love love
But all they could love love love
Was the bottom of the deep blue love love love
(one would cross their hands over their heart every time they said 'love')
Three sailors went to dizz dizz dizz
To see what they could dizz dizz dizz
But all they could dizz dizz dizz
Was the bottom of the deep blue dizz dizz dizz
(One would make the crazy sign during every dizz word)
Three sailors went to knee knee knee
To see what they could knee knee knee
But all they could knee knee knee
Was the bottom of the deep blue knee knee knee
(pointing or touching the knee every time it's mentioned)
Three sailors went to land land land
To see what they could land land land
But all they could land land land
Was the bottom of the deep blue land land land
(either patting the air in front of you or bending down touching the ground each time)
Three sailors went to I love Disneyland
To see what they could I love Disneyland
But all they could I love Disneyland
Was the bottom of the deep blue I Love Disneyland
(Doing all the movements in order when saying them)
String games was another popular kids game growing up. From what I have found, these kinds of games date back to thousands and thousands of years ago and there is no real set origin of it. It just passed down from generation to generation, changing as time went on.
One gets a string and ties the ends together creating a circle. One can either then make shapes by themselves or make it into a two person game by grabbing certain strings, pulling them through and making designs. If one failed in making one or couldn't figure it out, they lost. I could never never get very far in this one. Some of the popular ones were/are: 'witch's broom', 'Jacob's ladder' and 'Cat's whiskers'.
Counting out games was always a fun way to see who got chosen to go first for a game or to choose between certain things. Famous ones are: rock paper scissors, one potato two potato, bubble gum bubble gum and Eeny meeny manny mo. So many different version of eeny meeny manny mo have been created through generations. Some short versions, some long versions. I've used both. Here are a few of the popular counting games:
'Eeny Meeny Manny Mo'
Eeny meeny manny mo
Catch a tiger by it's toe
When he hollars let him go
Eeny meeny manny mo
(the longer version has this added to it - my daddy said to pick the very best one and you will not be it for the rest of your entire life.)
'Bubble Gum Bubble Gum'
Bubble gum bubble gum in a dish
How many pieces do you wish?
(Everyone puts their foot in a circle. Then someone would go foot by foot saying the song. Whoever got landed on at the end had to choose a number then in a circle the person went again counting to that number and whoever go landed on was out.)
'One Potato Two Potato'
One potato two potato
Three potato four
Five potato six potato
Seven potato more
(Everyone would put their fist in a circle and whoever got landed on at the end was out)
Even though most of these games is hard to find the origins of, it's pretty clear they have been around for a very long time bringing fun for kids for generations. They have changed over the years and will probably continue to do so. Although, I think today these games are played less and less with new gadgets coming out all the time. It's sad to see them slowly disappear but perhaps one day they will come back. There are some other hand games that I can touch one but will do that at a later time. Thanks for reading :)
Clapping games is something my generation (70's & 80's) and others before my time, that would be done and enjoyed by kids all over the place. Kids would stand facing each other (mostly two at a time but sometimes more and in a circle), sing a song/rhyme and do a coordinated hand clap to it. Mostly girls did this but some boys did it too. If one person messed up, you would have to start over or go to the next person waiting to play. If the song was short, sometimes you would keep going and get faster each time until someone messed up.
There were all kinds of different songs like 'Miss Mary Black' and 'Three Sailors' which happened to be my favorite. I think the another I used to do was 'A sailor went to sea sea sea'. There are so many other songs too. There is also the toddler one, 'Patty Cake'.
I have read that it started in the 19th century and became popular in the 50's, that it dates back to ancient Rome or even from the 16th century. Personally I would think it came centuries ago, from just about anywhere from bored kids. I wouldn't mind trying to find out what certain songs from these games came from but since there are so many, it would be too difficult. Although I did read that 'Patty Cake' was first a finger game attributed by a 17th century English writer and poet Tom D'Urfrey then turned into a clapping one by writer Lydia Maria Child.
Over the generations, these songs have been changed and more songs have been created also making the clapping game a little more complicated. Here are the lyrics to the three I have posted above.
'Miss Mary Mack'
Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack
All dressed in black black black
With silver buttons buttons buttons
All down her back back back
She asked her mother mother mother
For fifty cents cents cents
To see the elephants elephants elephants
Jump over the fence fence fence
They jumped so high high high
They touched the sky sky sky
And didn't come back back back
Til' fourth of July July July
'Patty Cake'
Patty patty cake, baker's man
Bake me a cake as fast as you can
Roll it, pat it, mark it with a B
Put it in the oven for baby and me
'A Sailor Went To Sea Sea Sea'
A sailor went to sea sea sea
To see what he could see see see
And all he could see see see
Was the deep blue sea sea sea
(Note: another variation of this is just like the song listed below but used sea sea sea, chop chop chop, knee knee knee)
'Three Sailors'
Three sailors went to eye eye eye
To see what they could eye eye eye
But all they could eye eye eye
Was the bottom of the deep blue eye eye eye
(every time 'eye' is mentioned, one would point to their eye)
Three sailors went to love love love
To see what they could love love love
But all they could love love love
Was the bottom of the deep blue love love love
(one would cross their hands over their heart every time they said 'love')
Three sailors went to dizz dizz dizz
To see what they could dizz dizz dizz
But all they could dizz dizz dizz
Was the bottom of the deep blue dizz dizz dizz
(One would make the crazy sign during every dizz word)
Three sailors went to knee knee knee
To see what they could knee knee knee
But all they could knee knee knee
Was the bottom of the deep blue knee knee knee
(pointing or touching the knee every time it's mentioned)
Three sailors went to land land land
To see what they could land land land
But all they could land land land
Was the bottom of the deep blue land land land
(either patting the air in front of you or bending down touching the ground each time)
Three sailors went to I love Disneyland
To see what they could I love Disneyland
But all they could I love Disneyland
Was the bottom of the deep blue I Love Disneyland
(Doing all the movements in order when saying them)
String games was another popular kids game growing up. From what I have found, these kinds of games date back to thousands and thousands of years ago and there is no real set origin of it. It just passed down from generation to generation, changing as time went on.
One gets a string and ties the ends together creating a circle. One can either then make shapes by themselves or make it into a two person game by grabbing certain strings, pulling them through and making designs. If one failed in making one or couldn't figure it out, they lost. I could never never get very far in this one. Some of the popular ones were/are: 'witch's broom', 'Jacob's ladder' and 'Cat's whiskers'.
Counting out games was always a fun way to see who got chosen to go first for a game or to choose between certain things. Famous ones are: rock paper scissors, one potato two potato, bubble gum bubble gum and Eeny meeny manny mo. So many different version of eeny meeny manny mo have been created through generations. Some short versions, some long versions. I've used both. Here are a few of the popular counting games:
'Eeny Meeny Manny Mo'
Eeny meeny manny mo
Catch a tiger by it's toe
When he hollars let him go
Eeny meeny manny mo
(the longer version has this added to it - my daddy said to pick the very best one and you will not be it for the rest of your entire life.)
'Bubble Gum Bubble Gum'
Bubble gum bubble gum in a dish
How many pieces do you wish?
(Everyone puts their foot in a circle. Then someone would go foot by foot saying the song. Whoever got landed on at the end had to choose a number then in a circle the person went again counting to that number and whoever go landed on was out.)
'One Potato Two Potato'
One potato two potato
Three potato four
Five potato six potato
Seven potato more
(Everyone would put their fist in a circle and whoever got landed on at the end was out)
Even though most of these games is hard to find the origins of, it's pretty clear they have been around for a very long time bringing fun for kids for generations. They have changed over the years and will probably continue to do so. Although, I think today these games are played less and less with new gadgets coming out all the time. It's sad to see them slowly disappear but perhaps one day they will come back. There are some other hand games that I can touch one but will do that at a later time. Thanks for reading :)
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is evil and effects thousands of people. It comes in different forms and in different levels. It can trick outsiders into thinking the person that suffers from it is rude, anti-social (by choice), doesn't care, weird and so on. It makes "outsiders" feel uncomfortable, not knowing how to react which also makes the person with SA feel even more uncomfortable. It can stop some people from even going outside, not being able to do something simple that we take for granted like going to a store.
It makes one feel alone, isolated, bad about themselves, feel like they don't fit in, not good enough, feeling like no one cares and that doesn't include when the anxiety kicks in. Once it kicks in, it can feel overwhelming to the point of tears, claustrophobic, can't breath, maybe even like one is going to loose their mind. Everyone that has SA, experience different things but one thing is for sure, it can be complete hell.
The fears are not rational but they are VERY real and there. One can't just "get over it" or "just do it". To the "average" person, it can seem like a person with SA is being dramatic and they just can't understand what one is going through. It makes it hard for one to make friends. It's a very hard and scary battle.
The reason why I am talking about this and why I know about it is because I have social anxiety. I never knew I had it until late last year. Looking back at my life, I can tell you that I have had it all my life. I thought it was just being shy but come to find out, it's more than that. Now that I know what it is, in some ways it makes it easier to deal with. In other ways, it's just the same but VERY frustrating. Different people get it from different experiences. I know where mine came from.
I was surrounded by a lot of negativity. I had positive stuff/people in my life but it seemed like the negative out weighed the positive. I'm sure it didn't but to a kid, it can seem that way. I was pushed aside, not a lot of people interacting with me (and to a child this is important), made fun of, threatened, called names, made to feel stupid and that I wasn't worth people's time. Even by teachers and my school. I didn't get a good education and this adds to the anxiety. I did have a few friends in school (some I even have re-connected with today) and to those, I send thanks for giving me a chance. For not judging and seeing something in me that for some reason others did not.
By the time I was a teen, I wasn't being bullied (except for a little in gym class) but the damage was already done. I did try for drama class to prove to myself that I could do something like that even though it was hard. By almost everyone around me, I was asked why was I doing it, saying I was too shy and saying I wouldn't make it. I did it and I made it but it was difficult. I just didn't have the confidence.
Fast forward to today. I can go out in public, I can apply for jobs and work. It's chatting with people - web or in person (in a social environment), talking on the phone and sometimes leaving comments on the web is what I have problems with. It doesn't matter if it's family, friends or people I hardly know, it's all the same. I do go through some of those things stated above. It's almost a daily battle. Running into some of the same situations when I was a kid doesn't help.
I have a hard time saying things, not knowing what to say or how to communicate, afraid I am going to be cast aside since I was a lot when I was a kid and the list goes on. I become overwhelmed at times. I have a hard time with the simplest things. So if I don't talk much, say something that might come off a certain way or even talk to much about myself, it's because of what I constantly feel/go through. I really do try to learn how to talk to people, to put myself out there and to just relax and to be me. I am writing and posting this in case others are going through it and to explain why I don't talk much. Yes I don't need to explain myself to people but at the same time, I want to express who I am. To say this is me and this is why. To let others know that I do like to have fun etc, I just have things I'm going through.
It makes one feel alone, isolated, bad about themselves, feel like they don't fit in, not good enough, feeling like no one cares and that doesn't include when the anxiety kicks in. Once it kicks in, it can feel overwhelming to the point of tears, claustrophobic, can't breath, maybe even like one is going to loose their mind. Everyone that has SA, experience different things but one thing is for sure, it can be complete hell.
The fears are not rational but they are VERY real and there. One can't just "get over it" or "just do it". To the "average" person, it can seem like a person with SA is being dramatic and they just can't understand what one is going through. It makes it hard for one to make friends. It's a very hard and scary battle.
The reason why I am talking about this and why I know about it is because I have social anxiety. I never knew I had it until late last year. Looking back at my life, I can tell you that I have had it all my life. I thought it was just being shy but come to find out, it's more than that. Now that I know what it is, in some ways it makes it easier to deal with. In other ways, it's just the same but VERY frustrating. Different people get it from different experiences. I know where mine came from.
I was surrounded by a lot of negativity. I had positive stuff/people in my life but it seemed like the negative out weighed the positive. I'm sure it didn't but to a kid, it can seem that way. I was pushed aside, not a lot of people interacting with me (and to a child this is important), made fun of, threatened, called names, made to feel stupid and that I wasn't worth people's time. Even by teachers and my school. I didn't get a good education and this adds to the anxiety. I did have a few friends in school (some I even have re-connected with today) and to those, I send thanks for giving me a chance. For not judging and seeing something in me that for some reason others did not.
By the time I was a teen, I wasn't being bullied (except for a little in gym class) but the damage was already done. I did try for drama class to prove to myself that I could do something like that even though it was hard. By almost everyone around me, I was asked why was I doing it, saying I was too shy and saying I wouldn't make it. I did it and I made it but it was difficult. I just didn't have the confidence.
Fast forward to today. I can go out in public, I can apply for jobs and work. It's chatting with people - web or in person (in a social environment), talking on the phone and sometimes leaving comments on the web is what I have problems with. It doesn't matter if it's family, friends or people I hardly know, it's all the same. I do go through some of those things stated above. It's almost a daily battle. Running into some of the same situations when I was a kid doesn't help.
I have a hard time saying things, not knowing what to say or how to communicate, afraid I am going to be cast aside since I was a lot when I was a kid and the list goes on. I become overwhelmed at times. I have a hard time with the simplest things. So if I don't talk much, say something that might come off a certain way or even talk to much about myself, it's because of what I constantly feel/go through. I really do try to learn how to talk to people, to put myself out there and to just relax and to be me. I am writing and posting this in case others are going through it and to explain why I don't talk much. Yes I don't need to explain myself to people but at the same time, I want to express who I am. To say this is me and this is why. To let others know that I do like to have fun etc, I just have things I'm going through.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Katy Perry: Bad Interview ?
I just watched the interview Katy Perry did for Sunday Night (Aus). So many people have had their opinions about it. Some are mad at Sunday Night and others are thinking Katy acted like a snob. Everyone will always state their opinion on things, they have that right. What I hate is when some of those people think they know what they are talking about without taking time to REALLY know what goes on. Then they judge and do it harshly.
When I watched the interview, I felt a little uncomfortable. I don't know anything about Sunday Night but this interview was set up wrong. It seemed like they wanted to talk more about the juicy gossip and pry into things that they shouldn't have.
Just because someone is in the public eye, doesn't mean their entire life should be public. Yes, Katy put her private life in a documentary but that was her choice; that doesn't mean she is an open book. She is still human and deserves to have some privacy. It should be her choice (anybody in the public eye really) what she decides to share. Everyone should respect that.
I also don't get why shows like that harp on the bad stuff and the past. Katy's divorce happened sadly, let it go already. Divorce happens all the time. It's a private and sad moment in a couple's life and should be kept as such unless they choose to make it (or some details) public.
Katy is moving on, so should we. They should have talked more about her album and future plans. Although talking about her strength was good. She explained what her song 'Roar' was about and yet they asked if it had to do with her ex. That was pointless. What a person gets out of a song, is what the song is about if that makes sense. It's how a song makes a person feel and think that matters and is important.
The show could have done away with the sound effects and the stupid words "Out of bounds". To me this was disrespectful to Katy. This show made her look bad. The way they pasted the video together , reminded me of how they paste together reality shows; have to get in the drama and make everything seem worse than it is. What was the point of them showing Katy telling everyone to sit and be quiet so they can do they interview? That was total BS.
I completely understand Katy's people that were in the background saying no to certain questions. They made her feel uncomfortable and it's their job to step in to say she won't answer something. During an interview you are supposed to make the person feel comfortable. I don't think they did that with Katy. At least that what it looked liked.
When someone is in the entertainment business, they have to have some kind of control and take charge other wise things will fall apart. Just because someone takes some control and speaks up, it doesn't mean they are snobs or has let fame go to their head. They know what they need to have things run smoothly.
I saw a lack of respect towards Katy. That's sad. They should have communicated better with Katy's people to know what not to ask etc. I thought that is what usually happens.
Bottom line, I think Katy handled herself perfectly Nobody can really sit there and pass judgement if they have never been in that situation. We don't really know what goes on behind the scenes. Katy seems to be a strong woman who is down to earth. Everyone is so ready to pounce on public people for anything and everything. We should be concentrating on more important things in life instead of trying to tear down someone for something so meaningless. That is my thoughts on this issue.
When I watched the interview, I felt a little uncomfortable. I don't know anything about Sunday Night but this interview was set up wrong. It seemed like they wanted to talk more about the juicy gossip and pry into things that they shouldn't have.
Just because someone is in the public eye, doesn't mean their entire life should be public. Yes, Katy put her private life in a documentary but that was her choice; that doesn't mean she is an open book. She is still human and deserves to have some privacy. It should be her choice (anybody in the public eye really) what she decides to share. Everyone should respect that.
I also don't get why shows like that harp on the bad stuff and the past. Katy's divorce happened sadly, let it go already. Divorce happens all the time. It's a private and sad moment in a couple's life and should be kept as such unless they choose to make it (or some details) public.
Katy is moving on, so should we. They should have talked more about her album and future plans. Although talking about her strength was good. She explained what her song 'Roar' was about and yet they asked if it had to do with her ex. That was pointless. What a person gets out of a song, is what the song is about if that makes sense. It's how a song makes a person feel and think that matters and is important.
The show could have done away with the sound effects and the stupid words "Out of bounds". To me this was disrespectful to Katy. This show made her look bad. The way they pasted the video together , reminded me of how they paste together reality shows; have to get in the drama and make everything seem worse than it is. What was the point of them showing Katy telling everyone to sit and be quiet so they can do they interview? That was total BS.
I completely understand Katy's people that were in the background saying no to certain questions. They made her feel uncomfortable and it's their job to step in to say she won't answer something. During an interview you are supposed to make the person feel comfortable. I don't think they did that with Katy. At least that what it looked liked.
When someone is in the entertainment business, they have to have some kind of control and take charge other wise things will fall apart. Just because someone takes some control and speaks up, it doesn't mean they are snobs or has let fame go to their head. They know what they need to have things run smoothly.
I saw a lack of respect towards Katy. That's sad. They should have communicated better with Katy's people to know what not to ask etc. I thought that is what usually happens.
Bottom line, I think Katy handled herself perfectly Nobody can really sit there and pass judgement if they have never been in that situation. We don't really know what goes on behind the scenes. Katy seems to be a strong woman who is down to earth. Everyone is so ready to pounce on public people for anything and everything. We should be concentrating on more important things in life instead of trying to tear down someone for something so meaningless. That is my thoughts on this issue.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Coming Out In My Family
I usually don't like to go deep into my personal life over the internet but I feel the need to do this. The topic 'gay' has been hot for awhile and continues. It's a good thing though; the more we talk about it, the more the issue the world has with it can be dealt with.
My parents split up when I was about 10 years old. I didn't understand why. When I was around 11 (I think) is when I found out why. He sat me down and told me he was gay. I don't remember the entire conversation. At the time, rumors were going around that Michael Jackson was gay. I never cared if he was or wasn't. So when he sat me down, he said "Your mom told me that you don't care if Michael Jackson is gay." I told him I didn't care and something along the lines of because he is still a human being, it's who he is etc. My parents taught me to treat everyone with respect no matter color, size, religion, rich or poor etc etc. Then he said ".....I'm gay". I don't remember the words before it.
I broke down and cried and hugged him. I knew the world didn't accept people who were gay and I remember hearing stories of people getting beat up or killed just because they were "different". This scared me. Because of people being so cruel, I didn't want my dad to be gay, not because I thought there was something wrong with it. I was also being bullied at school (most of my entire elementary school years) so I was also scared that the kids at school would find out and bully me even more. I was scared of what people thought.
At some point I made the decision to tell the friends I did have. I don't know why but I felt I had to tell them. I was terrified. I thought they would not want to be my friend anymore. If I lost them, I would have no one. I can only imagine that this is what it must be like for someone coming out. Thank God my friends didn't care. I am very thankful for their support. Their parents didn't care either.
Since I was 11, I didn't understand relationships, straight or gay. I knew my dad didn't chose to be gay. I think I was still confused about things. I didn't want anyone to know outside of who already did. My dad met a guy. He was one of the sweetest people you could ever meet. He accepted my sister and I. Anytime all of us went anywhere, I would wonder if people knew. Were they judging? What did they think? Would we be kicked out of places? My dad ended up getting married to this guy (I will leave his name out). I didn't attend because I was living in Colorado. The marriage wasn't legal at the time. Unfortunately my step-dad passed away before they could marry legally. I never really got to know him they way I wish I could have. I was shy and always concerned about others around me. I think I was uneasy because I knew people around me were. It took me a long time to not give a crap what others think.
My dad told his family except his mom. He grew up in a religious family. His mom probably would have been very upset and maybe not want anything to do with him. She was also old and I think my dad just didn't want to upset her. I don't think I truly know why he didn't tell his mom. Maybe because he wanted to keep her in his life. In order to do so, he hid himself from his mom. She knew his husband but only as a friend. I know this hurt him.
Jump several years into the future. I'm married with two step sons. We've always told them that we didn't care if they were gay, straight, bi etc. We would still love them just as much. My oldest one day sat on the couch and we started talking about different things. Then he just came out and said "I'm bi and I am dating a guy." All I said was "ok." We talked a little more and that was it. He said even though we told him we didn't care, he still had a hard time telling me/us. He still thought we would throw him out.
When I hear of stories of parents disowning their children because they are gay, it pisses me off. I can't understand how a parent, their flesh and blood, toss their kid out like yesterday's trash just because they like the same sex. Whatever happened to unconditional love? A parent will never like some of the things their kids do or their choices in life. A parent doesn't have to like that their child is gay (and even think it's wrong) but can still keep them in their lives and love them. NOTHING will get me to disown my kids and I didn't even give birth to them. I just don't get it.
I still get scared for my dad's and son's life sometimes (and for anybody else that I care about that are gay). I don't go around announcing to everyone they are gay but I don't hide it either. I am in more of acceptance of where I come from, of who I am. I really hope one day nobody will have to come out. I hope it will no longer matter who someone gets married to or sleeps with. That we can just learn to let people live their own lives and stop the stupid things that go around about people who are gay. I hope there will no longer be labels for people. That everyone everywhere can be treated equally (well in some countries women I think will never be treated equal but I think you get what I mean).
In the end, people are people. It doesn't matter where one comes from, rich, poor, different colors and religions, gay, straight, bi or transgender. We are still all humans. Even if you think it's unnatural, disgusting, a sin or what have you, we're still all human and need to be treated with respect. No one has to like what others do but who's business is it how someone lives? Who's business is it if someone "commits a sin"? We should be allowed to live a happy life and the way we want. Would you want someone to judge you? To treat you like crap because of who you are? To beat the crap out of you just because you live a different life than others?
So this is my story of coming out in my family. My thoughts and feelings. I want to thank everyone who has accepted me after knowing about my dad and son. Thank you to my family who have accepted my dad. Without your support, his life would have been hell and lord knows how things would have turned out. My love, heart and positive energy to everyone who has a story like mine, who has struggled or is struggling with themselves. xo
My parents split up when I was about 10 years old. I didn't understand why. When I was around 11 (I think) is when I found out why. He sat me down and told me he was gay. I don't remember the entire conversation. At the time, rumors were going around that Michael Jackson was gay. I never cared if he was or wasn't. So when he sat me down, he said "Your mom told me that you don't care if Michael Jackson is gay." I told him I didn't care and something along the lines of because he is still a human being, it's who he is etc. My parents taught me to treat everyone with respect no matter color, size, religion, rich or poor etc etc. Then he said ".....I'm gay". I don't remember the words before it.
I broke down and cried and hugged him. I knew the world didn't accept people who were gay and I remember hearing stories of people getting beat up or killed just because they were "different". This scared me. Because of people being so cruel, I didn't want my dad to be gay, not because I thought there was something wrong with it. I was also being bullied at school (most of my entire elementary school years) so I was also scared that the kids at school would find out and bully me even more. I was scared of what people thought.
At some point I made the decision to tell the friends I did have. I don't know why but I felt I had to tell them. I was terrified. I thought they would not want to be my friend anymore. If I lost them, I would have no one. I can only imagine that this is what it must be like for someone coming out. Thank God my friends didn't care. I am very thankful for their support. Their parents didn't care either.
Since I was 11, I didn't understand relationships, straight or gay. I knew my dad didn't chose to be gay. I think I was still confused about things. I didn't want anyone to know outside of who already did. My dad met a guy. He was one of the sweetest people you could ever meet. He accepted my sister and I. Anytime all of us went anywhere, I would wonder if people knew. Were they judging? What did they think? Would we be kicked out of places? My dad ended up getting married to this guy (I will leave his name out). I didn't attend because I was living in Colorado. The marriage wasn't legal at the time. Unfortunately my step-dad passed away before they could marry legally. I never really got to know him they way I wish I could have. I was shy and always concerned about others around me. I think I was uneasy because I knew people around me were. It took me a long time to not give a crap what others think.
My dad told his family except his mom. He grew up in a religious family. His mom probably would have been very upset and maybe not want anything to do with him. She was also old and I think my dad just didn't want to upset her. I don't think I truly know why he didn't tell his mom. Maybe because he wanted to keep her in his life. In order to do so, he hid himself from his mom. She knew his husband but only as a friend. I know this hurt him.
Jump several years into the future. I'm married with two step sons. We've always told them that we didn't care if they were gay, straight, bi etc. We would still love them just as much. My oldest one day sat on the couch and we started talking about different things. Then he just came out and said "I'm bi and I am dating a guy." All I said was "ok." We talked a little more and that was it. He said even though we told him we didn't care, he still had a hard time telling me/us. He still thought we would throw him out.
When I hear of stories of parents disowning their children because they are gay, it pisses me off. I can't understand how a parent, their flesh and blood, toss their kid out like yesterday's trash just because they like the same sex. Whatever happened to unconditional love? A parent will never like some of the things their kids do or their choices in life. A parent doesn't have to like that their child is gay (and even think it's wrong) but can still keep them in their lives and love them. NOTHING will get me to disown my kids and I didn't even give birth to them. I just don't get it.
I still get scared for my dad's and son's life sometimes (and for anybody else that I care about that are gay). I don't go around announcing to everyone they are gay but I don't hide it either. I am in more of acceptance of where I come from, of who I am. I really hope one day nobody will have to come out. I hope it will no longer matter who someone gets married to or sleeps with. That we can just learn to let people live their own lives and stop the stupid things that go around about people who are gay. I hope there will no longer be labels for people. That everyone everywhere can be treated equally (well in some countries women I think will never be treated equal but I think you get what I mean).
In the end, people are people. It doesn't matter where one comes from, rich, poor, different colors and religions, gay, straight, bi or transgender. We are still all humans. Even if you think it's unnatural, disgusting, a sin or what have you, we're still all human and need to be treated with respect. No one has to like what others do but who's business is it how someone lives? Who's business is it if someone "commits a sin"? We should be allowed to live a happy life and the way we want. Would you want someone to judge you? To treat you like crap because of who you are? To beat the crap out of you just because you live a different life than others?
So this is my story of coming out in my family. My thoughts and feelings. I want to thank everyone who has accepted me after knowing about my dad and son. Thank you to my family who have accepted my dad. Without your support, his life would have been hell and lord knows how things would have turned out. My love, heart and positive energy to everyone who has a story like mine, who has struggled or is struggling with themselves. xo
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